Journal Entry: Father Heart of God
December 31, 2030 - March 14, 2040
Journal Entry: Father Heart of God
Friday, January 31
Testimony by David Teo (part two) , 22, North Carolina
“Today was a big one. I came in today nervous that my heart wouldn’t open up when I shared the labels, curses, design issues, family pains, rejections and most of all the skeletons in my closet.
I was scheduled to share second in the group today. But I didn’t feel like my heart was in the right place yet. I was cold. I put on my hoodie, I hid and focused more on talking with God and asking him WHY this was happening. My heart felt attacked by the evil one, where it wasn’t growing soft or aligning with the heart of the Father for this time.
I was frustrated. I was scared that I was going to share, and that nothing would happen because of my un-aligned heart. And my healing was going to be stolen.
My 1 on 1 noticed and came across the room and sat by me, talked to me, and prayed for me. It was good. I didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t.
I got the divine idea to write declarations over myself to combat my fear of this breakthrough being stolen from me (not that it would cease to be available to me even if it were) and re-align my heart and attitudes with Christ. Here they are:
I HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST
I AM A NEW CREATION
I HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN
I AM LOVED
THE DEVIL IS A LIAR
HE HAS NO HOLD ON ME
I HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT
HE MAKES ME BRAVE
THE DEVIL WILL NOT STEAL MY HEALING AND REVELATIONS – IN JESUS’ NAME.
That did the trick. I stood up and shared. Filled with disgust for myself and overcome with shame, I made confession of all the sins that the devil had been waving in my face for the past months.
Steve Aherne, our speaker for the week, immediately recognized how overcome with shame I was. He told me, “David, you know that you have already been forgiven for all of this stuff, right?”
Me: “uh huhh.”
He told me to stand up and declare that this sin had been forgiven, and that it had no hold over me.
We did the ministry hug and towel thing and I snot-cried, balled my eyes out. Honestly, I don’t remember what he said to me on those two chairs, but I think it was less about what he was saying and more about me experiencing the Father’s heart, and God’s great love for me.
Steve Aherne: “What are you feeling?”
With my head on his shoulder, I saw an image of a prison holding cell. It was lined with rubber; rubber on the walls, floor and ceiling. It even has a drain in the centre of the floor. One of those cells was inside of me, deep in my heart. That cell is where I would keep all the memories of my sin, shame, curses, and labels. And I just see Jesus pressure washing the walls, floor and ceilings and all of those things running down into that drain. Then He steps out of the room, shuts the door, and the room implodes on itself. That’s gone.
Jaron (my 1 on 1), Adam (one of the school coordinators), and I went into the office next door to talk about what had happened. Adam described a picture to me – holding onto the desire for breakthrough so tightly that it hurts you. The raccoon that puts its hand in the jar to grasp candy, but now that its hand is formed into a fist, it’s too big to take it out of the mouth of the jar. But the raccoon is stubborn. He can’t and won’t let go of the candy. So he is trapped there, grasping the candy, and is bound with his own hand by the very thing he desires so greatly.
I have that tendency….
Jaron: “You are not prideful. You’re not the things you talked about.”
Holy Spirit: “That old man died when he was crucified with Christ.”
Adam: “You’re not fooling me. You think you’re this terrible person who’s done all these shameful things, but I see you for who you really are. You’re not fooling me.”
Holy Spirit: “You came to the right place.”
Adam: “I’m really glad you’re here bro.”
I thought the sinful man was who I really was, but that is a lie. That man who walks out in the “good works which are prepared in advance for you” that is who the true man is.”
If you missed part one of David Teo’s testimonies, here is his revelation of Genuine Worship – what it means to actively choose Jesus and that praising God can be a beautiful sacrifice.
“Coming into DTS I already loved and had a heart for worship but over the course of the worship stream I discovered more and more who God was and what HE was and the impact worship has. Finishing DTS my love for God and my heart for worship is bigger than ever before and I found new and deeper intimacy with HIM.”
Andrea Wenger, 24, Switzerland
“Before DBS the Bible was a bit overwhelming to me and I wasn’t sure if I was capable of receiving understanding for myself; especially when it comes to the hard questions or more complex passages. After DBS, that questioning was stripped away and my relationship with my Heavenly Father has gone deeper than ever before.
DBS taught me how to see the Father heart of God. I learned to see God’s justice, faithfulness, and consistency from Genesis to Revelation. My life and relationship with Jesus will never be the same. When I read God’s Word it speaks loudly to me in full color. I cannot get enough of my Father’s words!! DBS equipped me to search out the scriptures for myself and empower me to share what I’ve learned with those around me. DBS was the sweetest time of my entire life.”
Amy Hulehan, 26, USA
“Through prayer and passion stream, I was able to see how prayer could be a place of so much intimacy with God. Finding my secret place with Him allowed me to fall in love again with His beauty and goodness. At the same time, God revealed to me the secrets of His heart- how He saw me and how He saw the world. It’s such a privilege to know that there’s a big God up there who trust us and partners with us to bring the kingdom of heaven down on to earth through our prayers!!! And never once did He let me down.”
Jesse Chua, 22, Singapore
“In the Kingdom Come stream, we really focused on what the kingdom of God is and how to live that out on earth. The most impactful aspect of this was walking out a miraculous lifestyle and being in an intimate relationship with God, where you can expect miracles to happen.”
Peter Seip, 25, Virginia, USA
“Being part of the Wild Heart stream helped me know my place in the kingdom as well as parts of my spiritual identity. It broke lies and empowered me to be who God called me to be!”
Nicole Tavares, 18, Brazil
“The Medical Compassion DTS gave me a glimpse into the medical side or missions. The compassion part was what caught me. I saw that when we see with Jesus’ eyes of genuine compassion, we must get our hands dirty.”
Brady Picking, 21, Pennsylvania, USA
“Wild at Heart? Yes, of course! But whatever adventure I went for, I wanted to be the one in control. During my DTS, God changed my heart to go wild with Him. I learned to trust in God and that I don’t have to be in charge, as long as I know the One who is!”
Silas Bauer, 21, Germany
DBS has been a fulfilled prayer for me. When I was home, I asked the Lord to bring me deeper into his word, and He put that desire on my heart. I knew I would come back to staff, and I thought I would dive into it on my own. I found myself not having the right tools needed to effectively study God’s word. Once DBS became an option, I went for it wholeheartedly. I have been enjoying my time, going deeper than I imagined. God has shown me new things, removed false perspectives of his word and brought me into a deeper understanding of who he is. I have been challenged in many ways during this course, helping me find my place in God’s kingdom. I’ve been able to build a strong foundation with the Word of God. Over all, the Lord created a new heart within me that desires to love, praise, share joy, and bring others into the family of God. I love this school for all that is provided from strong friendships to heart moving moments in small groups and the teachings. My life will never be the same after this school!
Alex Denney, 20, Washington
“Before coming to DTS I had a fixed view on what it meant to be a follower of God. Being on the Wild Heart Stream completely demolished every box I put God in and taught me to have reverence for the Lord. I learned that God doesn’t want a slave, he wants a best friend, a daughter and a relationship.”
Jessica Bryant, 19, England
“Reading the whole Bible was a real challenge for me, but it was so rewarding. My eyes were opened to the fact that Jesus had existed from the very beginning and that God’s gracious heart always was and is the same! I learned that the Bible isn’t just a story about God, but rather a story about imperfect, raw, real people. I know now that I am one of them, and that I can see God work in my life just like He did it with them!”
Jenny Fritz, 19, Germany